As Trump was leaving this week for his trip to Beijing, where he will be outsmarted by the dumplings, a reporter asked him whether Americans’ financial pain might move him to make a deal with Iran. Trump responded, “Not even a little bit… I don’t think about anybody.” Anybody, he might have added, whose last name isn’t Trump.Trump, who repeatedly promised to release his tax returns as all other presidents have done, is now suing the IRS because it kept his promise for him. He and his sons are seeking a cool $10 billion, which would be about two-thirds of the IRS’s entire budget. In an SNL skit that writes itself, Trump’s DOJ is “in talks” with itself to enrich the Trumps before a court can act. Trump is brazenly picking our pockets because a contracted employee leaked his tax returns, showing that Trump paid only $750 in federal income taxes in 2016 and 2017. For ten years before that, Trump paid zero in federal taxes, claiming his annual expenses exceeded his income year after year. The con is that, despite failing at all of his various business, bankrupting six of them, Trump still sold himself as a successful businessman worth billions. Trump’s corruption would shame Tammany HallIn the late 18th century, New York City politics were famously corrupt. Entrenched political patronage, election fraud, and systemic grift were the levers of a powerful machine that lasted through the mid-20th century. Tammany Hall bought votes with essential social services, jobs, and legal aid, which insulated massive corruption. Politicians openly controlled municipal contracts for a cut, extorted local businesses, and embezzled public funds. When it joined forces with industrialists during the Gilded Age—Rockefeller, Carnegie, and Vanderbilt were the Gilded Age’s Bezos, Musk and Zuckerberg—Tammany Hall was considered the most corrupt political faction in US history. Today Trump is giving it a run for its money.As soon as he returned to power in 2025, Trump set about turning his wealth fantasies into reality. Trump, who earned so little over ten years that he paid no federal income tax, has profited from the presidency by staggering amounts. Twenty-five Trump-branded luxury real estate projects, complete with foreign licensing fees, are under development. Trump is also running cryptocurrency ventures like the World Liberty Financial scam, a decentralized finance platform into which the Abu Dhabi government invested $500 million. Then there’s his digital trading cards for idiots, or NFTs, featuring Trump as superhero, astronaut, cowboy, and race car driver, earning him $7 million and counting, all illegal under the Emoluments Clause. Cards featuring Melania as stripper, porn star, and botox rep have not yet been released.The golden griftAfter bankrupting six businesses and running dozens more into the ground, Trump is now worth between $1.4 billion and $6.5 billion, depending who you ask. It’s a formidable grift tracked dollar for dollar in “Trump’s Take,” a chyron tracker like the National Debt Clock running in Times Square that calculates how the Trumps are profiting from selling access to the U.S. presidency in real time. When Trump officially launched his crypto ventures, he about-faced on his frequent criticism of crypto, while simultaneously deregulating the industry to increase his profits. Trump takes a cut in cash from all trades and sales of the family’s coins and tokens, and also earns stablecoin interest. Trump is also pushing a “gold card” visa program, offering fast-track residency to wealthy foreigners willing to pay up to $2 million. Immigration lawyers are warning their wealthy clients that it’s legally dubious, financially risky, and likely worthless. Meanwhile, after kicking 15 million Americans off their health plan, he launched TrumpRX.com to make up for the loss, another grift offering discounts on 43 medications out of approximately 24,000 drugs on the market that does nothing to close the insurance coverage gap.When added to his hundreds of millions in illegal gifts from foreign governments, “settlements” of lawsuits of no legal merit, and income from other schemes highlighted here, Forbes sets Trump’s overall fortune at $6.3 billion as of April 2026, nearly three times his estimated worth of $2.4 billion at the start of 2024.The golden phone that wasn’t, or, a metaphor for our timeTrump has marketed so much random junk under the Trump name it would make a trademark lawyer day drink. A quick perusal of Trump merchandise on offer today at the “Trump Store” (You! Sign up today for 10% off!) shows Trump pickleball paddles, Trump coffee, chocolate coins, decanters, room fresheners, speakers, tumblers, hats, blankets and diffuser sets, much of it made in China. But no Trump merch is as coveted as the Trump Mobile phone, because it doesn’t exist.Judd Legum’s Popular Information reported this week how Donald Jr. and Eric Trump launched Trump Mobile in June of last year.